How can I…?

This is a huge question. No matter how the question is finished, it’s almost always an important question.

The biggest ending to this question for me is, “How can I…make people understand the incomprehensible? Let me show you what I mean. ..

I have a bad habit of thinking negatively towards myself. This tends to cause issues in a lot of areas in my life. Everyone seems to have a simple solution to my struggle, “You CHOOSE your thoughts & reactions and therfore just need to choose better. ”

I get it from so many directions. What I can’t seem to get anyone else to understand is that I DO “get it” and that is why I struggle so much. Because…how do I explain to any sane person that I do not believe I’m a good person and therfore do not feel I’m worthy off anything good, special, pure or anything remotely close to love. And the fact I DO have those things makes me feel guilty. Guilty because there are so many more worthy people out there who should be getting what I have. Guilty because those who give to me so willingly deserve to be giving what they have to offer to someone more worthy if it.

How do you learn to not hate yourself when the only way to do that is to completely change everything about yourself, and by doing that you’ll no longer be you… Ugh! I don’t know…I don’t even really know if I know what I’m trying to say…

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