I constantly find myself in the position that what I say isn’t what I was thinking. I have this huge issue with trying to tell someone how or what I am feeling but it ends up coming out totally wrong.
My solution to this only really makes things worse because I end up just bottling in everything. That eventually leads to a total blowup which not only does not help but pours fuel on an already out of control fire.
Someone once shared a great quote, I wish I could remember who said it but here it is anyway…
“we don’t have the right to tell someone that we did not hurt their feelings” ~ unknown
Basically, just because we did not mean to hurt someone, doesn’t mean we didn’t hurt them. We cannot know what all someone is going through, therefore we cannot know that our words or actions won’t hurt someone else. This means that we need to learn how to acknowledge that while we may not have meant to hurt them, we did and we’re truly sorry for doing so (unless, for some reason, that WAS the intended purpose. Sad, but a true fact). We have to find a way to talk through things like this without making it worse.
I would really like to believe this is a possibility, but somewhere deep inside, I don’t. Especially where I am concerned. While I can be very good with the written word (as long as it’s just in relation to, say, my poetry or friendly, no deep thought letters or even short stories) I am horrible at in depth communication especially the spoken words! UGH!
These are the times when I feel like everyone around me would be better of if I was living in a cave!