The Battle Within

We all have a story. Or, more accurately, stories. The longer we live, the more stories we accumulate.

Here is where I will tell some of mine. I have good stories. I have bad stories. Some are warped by my own opinion of myself. Some are beautiful, inspite of my attempts to destroy them.

My hopes are that by walking through them here, I will be able to begin a slow healing process. Maybe, by writing them down, I will be able to cut out my self-inflicted battle scars and see myself as my husband, daughter and my friends see me. Because they certainly paint a different picture than the one I see in my head.

I don’t know where this journey will lead me. Right at this moment I’m at a place in my life where I have lost my relationship with God. I’ve been in some deep, dark places inside since I walked away from my Christian beliefs. I do have to say that, lately, I’ve felt pulled to see if that is a path I can find again. With that in mind, please know that this blog will probably bounce in and out of the realm of Christianity.

I will share little pieces of my soul as I try to put it back together. Well, maybe ‘back together’ isn’t the correct description. Sometimes I feel as if my soul has never been whole.

My stories range from pure, shining bliss to deep, dark brokenness. So…yeah…bipolar, I guess. My highs are breathtakingly high and my lows are abysmally low. Over the years, at least the last 28+ years, there has been one constant. One rock. One person who, while not perfect, is perfect for me. You’ll learn more about him as we move forward together. Ha! That is assuming anyone is really reading this.

Real life is rarely all sunshine and roses and pretty, pink ponies. Sometimes…you gotta get dirty.

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